Getting back to the “Old School” basics – Manners!!!

Sitting in my car the other day in the parking lot, waiting for the rain to lessen, I saw a “little old lady” exit the store.  She was pushing a grocery cart loaded with so many items which, I believe, must have weighed more than she.  I desperately wanted to run over to her with an umbrella but, due to recent knee surgery, that was an impossibility.  As I watched her struggle, a young employee of the store did exactly what I wanted to do.  Smiling, the young man covered her with an umbrella, pushed her cart to her car, unloaded the items for her and assisted her into the car, smiling the whole time.
I was so gladdened by the sight and thankful to God for the existence of that thoughtful, young man. His actions reinforced my belief that, in spite of what we hear daily, goodness and kindness still do exist in our world!
Remember to pass along any good deeds that come your way.

We all know how the world has changed dramatically over the last 10 years when it comes to interpersonal relations, person to person contact and manners. Those old school values have sadly been on the decline and the Pandemic, unfortunately, accelerated this sad decline. But, the Good News is that there are still a lot of “Old School” people left in this country who learned those precious values as kids and won’t change. If you consider yourself “Old School”, we have to understand that how we were raised now means that we have a “Responsibility” to educate the younger generations and keep what we know is “right” living past our existence by talking to and educating younger people about why all that we hold dear matters.

A.  Let’s start with a few interpersonal good manners, shall we?
1) Whenever you meet a person – known or unknown – greet her/him. A simple smile, “hello” or “hi” might be the only positive note she/he hears all day and you did it!  It’s a way of respecting that person and acknowledging her/his existence.

2) Lend a helping hand. Many times during your day you will have the opportunity to aide someone: give help crossing the street, carry a bag or package for one who is struggling, buy a meal for a hungry person, offer an umbrella on a rainy day, offer a ride to an appointment for a non-driver. There are an infinite number of such incidents every day.  All you have to do is be observant.

3) Avoid interrupting conversations. Whether a person is on the telephone, speaking to someone else or just concentrating on what is being said, do not interrupt! Be patient! What might seem absolutely crucial to you might not be of any consequence to the other person. If your need is terribly important, write a note and determine a later time to get in touch.
Another note on this topic is that you should respect the privacy of the other person. Walk out of earshot of their conversation. It may be very personal and certainly none of your business!

4) Speaking about conversations, put your phone away or at least on mute. Have a meaningful, face to face conversation. It’s the only way to read personal, facial expressions which many times will tell you much more than just the words

5) And one of the most important manners is saying “Please” and “Thank you”. It means the world to a parent or a grandparent who has just sent a card or a gift certificate for a special occasion. Not acknowledging a gift will most likely decrease the desire to repeat the thought!

Enough for today! More mannerly comments to follow in the future!

B.  Let’s tackle table manners today.
I realize that our eating habits have changed greatly over the years, and that many of the “old time” manners are not as applicable as before.  However, I ask you to imagine yourself at a sumptuous banquet held in your honor. The table is set with the finest china, flatware, glassware and linens.  What behavior is expected by the host/hostess?

1) Seating arrangements. Each lady must be seated: have her chair pulled out for her to sit and then be pushed back in. Usually the arrangements alternate ladies and gentlemen.

2) Your folded napkin should be opened and placed on your lap.  Your hands should also be in your lap.

3) Speak when addressed, do not interrupt a conversation and keep your voice moderate at all times.

4) No electronic gadgets should be in evidence: no phones, Ipads, etc.

5) No elbows on the table.

6)Chew with your mouth closed.

7) Sip your beverage, whatever it may be. No guzzling!

8) “Ma’m” and “Sir” are an appreciated address when speaking to elders.

9) Do not start eating until you see the host/hostess begin.

10) “Please” and “Thank you” are requirements when asking for a food item to be passed to you. (ie. potatoes, meat, vegetables, etc.)

11) Once the meal is over, be effusive  with your appreciation to the host/hostess and cordial to all the guests.

In today’s world, however, it is fairly seldom that we even sit down for a family meal.  Nevertheless, some rules do still apply to such an occasion.

1) Wait until everyone is seated and served before starting.

2) Use a napkin.

3) “Please” and “Thank you” are still in play.

4) No squabbling with siblings!

5) When everyone is finished, help with the cleanup. This is always appreciated by the person who has prepared the meal!!